GROUNDED WITH GRATITUDE
Posted by Grounded with Gratitude on November 30, 2011
2003 was a turning point in my life. The year I lost my mentor, my inspiration, my source of nurturing and strength.... my mother. I was devastated and felt so lost after her passing. There was a constant ache in my heart mourning her loss. However she was still watching over me and she must have guided me to discover yoga through a warm and generous soul. Dora, my first teacher opened my mind and heart to the joys of breathing, mindful yoga asanas with proper alignment without judgment or expectation. I was inspired to learn more about yoga, the science behind it as I watched her live her life with love and acceptance. I was rejuvenated after each class and felt a strength growing within my heart with all the qualities I admired in my mother. From a stressed, critical and fearful corporate bee, I was beginning to realise the wonders of simple things in life. Thank you Dora for leading me to path of yoga and taking time after every class to share your discoveries and igniting my thirst for knowledge.
2 years into my joyful journey, I was lost and searching once again. I was sad to bid farewell to Dora who was relocating. I joined various yoga classes to fill the void. Most classes especially at the gyms were more a physical workout without any mind and body connection. Yoga became competitive and a challenge to become more flexible and agile. I left feeling drained and depleted after a class instead of energised and centered. I persevered with yoga still determined that I had so much more to discover.
I underwent a surgery and had complications in the recovery process. It was a low point in my life as I didn’t like feeling helpless and not in control of the situation. A dear friend gave me a book that changed my life – Eat Pray Love (“EPL”) by Elizabeth Gilbert who wrote about her despair and changing her life by simply living her passions and nourishing her soul. The book was structured like a Japa Mala (prayer beads) with 108 tales (beads). Thanks Molly for the life-changing gift.
Every Japa Mala has a 109th bead. It is not a spare but a marker for you to pause from your absorption during meditation to thank your teachers. I pause even before I finish to thank all my teachers that I have named, my mother as well as those who appeared before me in unexpected ways to guide me through my journey. I am grateful to my uncle for introducing to and helping me discover the power of human intention and thought.
After much soul searching, my family decided to take a huge leap of faith by starting a new life in a new country. Brazen with this decision and inspired by EPL, I started exploring ways to live my passions in my new life, breaking away from the staid corporate existence I had led for the past 19 years. I am grateful that my husband, father, and sisters had complete faith and supported me instead of dismissing it as a mid-life crisis and a waste of my ‘high flying’ career. I am grateful for my friends who constantly encouraged me with this major change in my life path without any judgment or reservation.
Searching for a yoga instructors’ course, I stumbled upon MAYI and was literally guided by Master Mani in his car to the Yoga Centre. Only on hindsight, could I fathom how he guided me back on track on my spiritual journey. Thank you Master Mani for your guidance which helped release the bound energy from its coil and allow it to begin journeying upward towards God. This is the greatest gift from an enlightened teacher. I am also grateful that I was given the opportunity to study Kriya Yoga techniques under the tutelage of Master Mani. His teachings have taken me to the next level of my journey and dramatically changed my life. Letting go of fear, doubts, judgement and criticism, I have now learnt to forgive, accept and love unconditionally. I still have to a long way to go with my sadhana (practice) but the journey has at least begun.
The knowledge and confidence I gathered at the International Yoga Instructors Certification course is immeasurable thanks to the endless patience of Archarya Nava in answering my never-ending questions. He and my soul sisters whom I have been reunited with in IYIC, have been the pillars of my growth. Despite the miles, they are constantly supporting and encouraging me to progress in my quest and start teaching yoga. One of them will always be miraculously online whenever I am in need. Thank you Archarya Nava and my soul sisters- Lee Yan and Serina.
Having found this inner strength before my big move, adjusting to my new life has been a joyful adventure despite moving during the onset of the global financial crisis at the end of 2008. Instead of fear of starting over and worrying about financial stability, I feel safe and contented….I feel like I have come home. I start each day with joy, looking forward to my daily sadhana and Kriya Yoga practice. I feel so much healthier and full of energy, which helps me tackle endless housework and laundry (……life without a maid). I am grateful that I have found contentment pursuing my passions at this stage in my life – yoga and cooking. I am happily teaching yoga in Melbourne. I am grateful that my husband and daughters have whole hearted accepted my decision to trade in my high heels for bare feet. They have also embraced yoga into their lives by starting their day with Surya Namaskar.
I am truly Grounded with Gratitude.
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